Enjablog

*gigggle*

Yay! My magical sister fixed the internet! :) I can blog from my room once again. Woo!

Spent yesterday evening with TWB. Watched a movie and then ended up sitting around talking for close to 4 hours. Just in time to get him home to go on a road trip with his pappy. Strange fellows, really.

Today… Got up to go be nice to people at the museum. It was pretty uneventful. “Where is the bathroom?” “How do I get up to the tower?” “What IMAX movies are playing?” Headed over to my sis’s place after that. Hung out with the HOY gang for a bit before heading back over to straighten up for guests. As usual, food, family, friends, and fun. Mix in a little karaoke and wacky hijinks. :) -J.

I’ve figured out why I’m so lazy: I have recumbent DNA.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

For those of you who don’t read Crit’s site or are not members of the Chipotle community on orkut: “Buy one burrito on this sunday February 29th and save your receipt. Take your receipt back to chipotle anytime the following week (before the following sunday(march 7th)) and receive a free burrito.”

Edit: I saw a sign at the Fairfax Chipotle yesterday, so I know at least that one is participating. Woo! Chipotle! :) -J.

Oh my goodness… this is the funniest Dear Abby I’ve read in a really long time:

DEAR ABBY: I have a most embarrassing problem. My job requires me to make public appearances, and often I am “dressed to the nines.” I admit, for dramatic purposes, I sometimes apply too much makeup. I have always been told I am beautiful, and I have even done some modeling.

Here’s the dilemma: People think I am a man. Once I was cornered at a festival by an angry group of people who had been fired up by one drunkard’s insistence that I was a drag queen. (Abby, I have children and I am definitely female.)

The first few times it happened, I tried to brush it off and regain my composure — once I stopped crying. But lately, it is getting ridiculous. I am mistaken for a cross-dresser even when I wear very little makeup. At 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds, I’m hardly manly. A week doesn’t go by without this happening.

My boyfriend says I should blow it off — that people are jealous. My self-confidence is in the cellar and I’m at my wit’s end. I have struggled with severe depression my whole life, and this isn’t helping. A lot of the time I’d like to cower somewhere, but my job won’t let me. Help! — CRYING IN PHOENIX

DEAR CRYING: It’s difficult to give you an answer sight unseen, but let’s analyze this. Drag queens are often known for their flawless makeup and their flamboyant manner of dress. Could this be a description of you? If the answer is “maybe” — then it’s time for a fashion and image makeover.

My nose has been running for 9 hours straight now. I hope it stops soon.

On an unrelated (or possibly related?) note, I went to back to the chiropractor for my first adjustment today. It was actually pretty cool. I saw my X-rays from yesterday, which showed that I’m lopsided and leaning forward. Then they had me lie on this roller/massage doober for a few minutes. After that, they attached electrodes to me and zapped me for a bit. Then the doctor man popped my back and neck. It was very loud. Interesting experience. Time for sleep. That is all. :) -J.

Playing the part of MP… Who wants to go see Margaret Cho at the Improv? April 25, 8:00pm. Tickets will be purchased tomorrow at 7pm. If you don’t let me know by then, you’re on your own. -j.

Stole this from some dude on lj. Last thing on this topic though. I’ll go back to just being racist and pointless shortly:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Edit: This list originated from Gator Gay-Straight Alliance.

Huh… I completely missed this during the last election, but I was informed recently that the VP’s daughter, Mary, is a lesbian. Apparently, while campaigning last time around she said, “We can make sexual orientation a nonissue for the Republican Party, and we can help achieve equality for all gay and lesbian Americans.”

Not quite what happened, huh? And like Wil Wheaton says, “An interesting thing has happened since San Francisco started granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples: my marriage is just fine!” I honestly don’t get why it would be a threat to heterosexual people if homosexual marriages were allowed. One of the comments left in response to his rant pretty much sums it up:

“The thing that infuriates me is that the drive to let homosexuals be married isn’t about forcing churches to marry them. Any given church can decide not to marry a homosexual couple if it wants. This is about allowing a couple to pursue that, either at a church that does support it or via a County Clerk or whatever. No one on the right wants to acknowledge this. They want to make it out like its an attack on marriage and next thing you know we’ll be marrying our dogs and letting potted plants vote and then Western Civilization will fall.”

That’s so true. I don’t want to marry a dog, but I have been waiting for this all to blow over and accepted before attempting to marry the internet. My dream… *swoon* :) -J.

Ok, so I said I would cut it out with these quizzes and stuff, but this made me laugh. A lot. And I’m different from TB and eep:

You Should Wear Boxers! Boxers are a good choice for you. They are always funny, and they keep your genitalia hidden from view. Find out which No Pants Day outfit YOU should wear! No Pants Day is May 7th, 2004. To find out more about No Pants Day, visit www.NoPantsDay.com

Highlights…
Mindless is back in town. That means he will soon have a new name. Anyway, hung out with him Monday evening and watched K-Pax. Quality movie. I love the planetarium scene. By far my favorite. Astrophysics is so dreamy. :) Anyway, I somehow did something to my neck/back yesterday. I’m at home because I can’t turn my head to back out of my parking spot. Or turn to check my blind spot… I’m not sure how I’m going to get to the chiropractor today. But we’ll see…

Story time from yesterday:
Staples… So, NewGuy and I were given the task of stapling a bunch of handouts for a meeting. I brought my handy stapler to his office and away we stapled. Well, until I ran out of staples. He pulled out his mostly-brand new box of staples. We swapped staplers and he loaded the shiny new staples in. Then he tried stapling with it. Stuck. Unjam stapler. Try again. Staple. Jam. Every time he stapled, two or three staples would go through and get stuck. Odd. Are these the same staples I have? Let me check… The boxes are the same. The staples *look* the same. There must be a difference. So, here we are: two engineers, two staplers, two boxes of staples, and a quandary. We discovered that the dispenser part in my stapler was wider than the one in his, his staples were taller than mine and slightly thinner (as in material, not width), and my staples worked in both staplers, while his staples worked only in his. What is wrong here? Ok. Go over and steal staples from MichiganTony to determine who had the box of defective staples. Turns out it was NG. But then MT came over and started shooting staples out of my stapler and everything worked. Even the defective taller staples. I don’t understand. But by that time, no one really cared anymore. Go science!

After work, I went to the gym for my weekly kickboxing class. The instructor for this class is excellent. Her sister is a hokie too. So another point for her. Anyway, this class has about 50 people in it and is open to anybody who is a member of the gym. For the most part though, only women take the class. Last night was no different. However, we had a few spectators in the doorway. The instructor told them they were welcome to participate in the class, but they can’t just hang out in the doorway. When she said this she was at the front of the room, opposite the door. They didn’t respond and just kept oogling (teehee… that’s for you, BFF) as we exercised. The instructor continued with her kicks and punches as she headed toward the door and told the guys to leave. They ran away when she got close to them and she shut the door. Stupid boys. :) -J.

LOTD: The Guy’s Guide to Geek Girls - Illustrated!

I was talking to people yesterday and I was asked twice about the DorkyWhiteBoy-SmallAsianGirl phenomenon. It’s not like I’m some kind of expert on this or anything. But M2 (TB’s friend) was inquiring as to why DWBs are always going after SAGs. Why he asked her, I don’t quite understand. Apparently, since she’s a girl she understands everything about everything. Which isn’t too far off base, but that just seemed a little out of her reach. In any case, she suggested he ask me. Then it evolved into me being a case study for this question. Why me, I’m not quite sure. Because, although I do have a number of DWBs in my arsenal, they’re not DWBs interested in dating me. They keep me around to play wingman, which isn’t exactly the situation M2 was inquiring about. In any case, after discussing with my sister, I have compiled a list of hypotheses on the subject:

1. The macho factor: This is the most common explanation I have heard over the years. Boys like feeling macho and tough and the easiest way to do that is to pick a SAG because no matter what, he’ll be bigger, taller, stronger, etc. than the SAG. They get an ego boost out of being big.

2. The asian factor: It’s all a numbers game. There are a lot of asian girls out there. Now, this would make you think that there are also a lot of asian boys out there, which for the most part is true, but the problem is the asian boy-asian girl matchups that aren’t happening. Why is this the case? A few possible explanations…

The nice, asian boys are looking for nice girls, but growing up in America, they try to blend in with generic “American” culture by rejecting their own culture. As a result, instead of looking for the nice, asian girls, they look for the Britneys and Jessicas.

Along the same lines of the macho factor, these boys might be looking for meek, subdued women from traditional culture, which is less typical of the badass Lucys growing up here.

Accordingly, the SAGs know they don’t have to put up with being made to feel inferior to their mate, so they’ll reject domineering asian boys. Granted, they’re not all domineering. But from what I’ve seen, there seems to be less of a continuum in confidence levels. Either they’re the domineering type, or they’re the shy type who will never muster up the guts to ask a SAG out.

3. The intellectual factor (unlikely, I know): DWBs are looking for smart women, so they gravitate toward SAGs. Yes, total stereotype, but how many non-Korean, asian airheads have you ever met? Haha ok. Sorry. That was just blatantly mean. I don’t even know any Korean girls. I’m not at all saying they’re all dumb or that white girls are dumb either. There’s an intellectual spectrum in any race/gender/culture/whatever. I have just found that there is a very strong preconceived notion (unsubstantiated or not) that asian people have above average intelligence. After all, everyone knows who does best on the SATs. ;)

So with this intellectual factor, why don’t the asians stick together and preserve their intelligence? Again with the macho factor, boys don’t want girls who are smarter than them. There are the traditional asian boys who would not put up with an out-spoken SAG who thinks she is smarter than him. The horror! And to be fair, it isn’t restricted to asian boys at all. I’ve scared a few boys away because they couldn’t keep up, or even pissed off a few because I used words they couldn’t understand (either ask or pick up a friggin’ dictionary. It’s really not that hard a thing to do).

In conclusion, I have no idea why the DWB-SAG phenomenon exists, but these are some preliminary hypotheses from brainstorming. Any additional ideas are welcome. I will keep you posted if I have a breakthrough of any kind. :) -J.

Penguins!

My company is looking to hire a software developer in the next month or two. Here is our description of the job.

If you’re interested or know someone who is please put them in touch with me.

SPJ

Sam is great:

“I really hate straight boys who are geeky and nerdy and don’t know how to deal with the opposite sex. They bug the crap out of me, how they exploit the niceness of my friends who are too polite to tell them to ‘fuck off’. While that solution would certainly work, you shouldn’t have to put them in it. Take a hint already and fix yourself.”