Enjablog

LOTD from BFF: Women Probably Don’t Have Souls: “God determined that men would be lonely living alone, so he created women purely to keep men company and serve their needs (Genesis 2:18-22). Women are therefore completely subordinate to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). It stands to reason, though, that once men enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they will be one with God, and will no longer be lonely and in need of mortal companionship. Thus, the reason behind having women will no longer exist.”

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.” A large mysterious cod appeared and said, “Your wish is granted”, and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn’t realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn’t see his old pal. “Where’s Christian?” he asked. “He’s at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark”, came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, “It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.” Christian replied, “No way man, you’ll eat me. You’re now a shark, the enemy, and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner.” Justin cried back “No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed.”

“I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again, Christian!”

In response to something sappily romantic, I said something to the effect of, “It’s just new relationship high. We have an abundance of endorphins right now…” For whatever reason, that just doesn’t come out as nice. This prompted me to do a search to find a psychology site to determine roughly how long that stage lasts. I found surprisingly few relevant hits. By that, I mean to say, I did not find an answer to my question. I’ll probably just have to look in one of my psych books because I remember learning in one of my classes the significant points in relationships. Explanations behind 2-year breakups, 7-year itch, etc. I’m surprised the internet does not possess the answer I seek. Well, maybe it does… I just wasn’t searching properly, which is probably more likely.

In any case, I came across this dude who likened the endorphin high with a drug addiction and decided to quit. Overall, it’s a pretty good explanation. The hormonal changes we experience due to attraction is a conditioned response to increase the likelihood of procreation. Evolutionarily, this is highly beneficial. But, as this guy found, if you’re constantly getting rejected by women, it tends to be less beneficial to continue that pursuit because the withdrawal symptoms are more negative than the positives of the potential benefits. As is typical of the geek world, once he discovered this, he decided to experiment (using himself as a case study, of course) and recondition himself to not respond to the endorphin high, thereby negating the hormonal addiction he would feel compelling him to find a mate. 1000 days later, he wrote an article summarizing his progress and citing studies and experiments conducted by Helen Fisher, relating romance addictions to drug addictions as well as comparing MRIs to support the analogy:

Helen Fisher, a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, is among many scientists who believe the flush of a new love is enhanced by natural stimulants in the brain - dopamine and norepinphrine. She explains that high levels of these natural chemicals can make people lose their appetites and their desire for sleep, just by thinking about their new infatuations. “These are basic traits commonly associated with romantic love and with these natural stimulants,” she says. “What else could explain the way you constantly think about a person, about the way you want to read them your bad poetry?”

Romantic love, Fisher continues, is also related to abnormalities in the neurotransmitter serotonin, making it biochemically similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder, a psychiatric illness where thoughts of a single subject dominate the patient’s life. Conducting interviews with lovers, she has found some who tell her that they spend as much as 85% of their waking moments fantasizing about their loved one. “In romantic love, we can’t stop thinking about the person we’re in love with,” she says.

The guy goes on later to suggest an experiment you can conduct on yourself. Simulate falling in love by consuming large quantities of chocolate and introducing increased levels of phenylethylamine into your system. I guess that weekend I spent eating two pounds of chocolate after my last breakup was a good idea then. :) Granted, the second part of that experiment is to quit cold turkey. Experience the crash of losing love. Lol… or you can trick yourself into falling in love, like this guy. Anyway, no real point to all of this. Just seemed interesting to me. I’ll look up the stuff in my psych books at some point too. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to get my highs off the real stuff. :) -J.

Turns out, third one’s the charm. Had my parents take my car in last Tuesday to get an estimate on repairs for the insurance place. The people said it would be about two days. Thursday rolls around, they say maybe Friday. Friday comes and goes… The first bumper they tried was the wrong one or something. It wouldn’t fit. Second bumper arrived on Thursday, but it broke while shipping. Third one showed up on Friday, but the place is closed over the weekend. They fixed everything nice and pretty yesterday and I have my car back. Yay! :) -J.

The blunder that was Secret Window. I suggested to ITP last weekend that we go watch. Thought he’d want to see it because he likes Johnny Depp. He looked it up and didn’t want to see it because it got bad reviews, but thought I really wanted to see it and that was why I had suggested it. Ended up figuring out in the middle of the movie that neither of us really had a particular interest in seeing it. (Hey, Ben– Is that ironic?) As TR put it, “Strange things happen when people listen to each other.” Movie wasn’t too bad… A bit cliche and not very much to the plot, but it was ok.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a heartless beeyatch who doesn’t get along with kids. I mean, I don’t actively dislike them, and most of them are cute enough and all, but there are a lot of bad kids out there. And it’s not so much that I blame them for being rotten people, it’s that I don’t like the bad parents that result in bad children. I get along just fine with well-behaved children and everything’s happy. Anyway, working at Udvar-Hazy gives me hope. I no longer feel comfortable saying I hate children. It never really was true, but I was ok saying it because there are so many bratty kids out there. This weekend was pretty busy and there were a lot of kids milling about. For the most part, only adults come up to the info desk to ask questions. They often have kids with them, but they do the asking. For whatever reason, a bunch of kids came up to to ask questions on Saturday. Maybe it has something to do with the kind of parent who would think to bring their child to a museum, but these kids were so well-behaved and polite. The funniest kid came and up asked about one of the on-going children’s activities. I told him I would look it up and see if it was scheduled for that day. Before I even had a chance to type in my search, he said, “If it’s possible, would you please look quickly? I have to meet my father at the simulator soon.” I can’t even get mad at him for being impatient because he was so polite about telling me to hurry up. There was also another kid… probably about 3 or 4 who came running up and bonked his head on the desk. He was so excited about getting a map that he forgot that he hurt himself. I asked him and his father if they had any questions and the father said no… he just didn’t think his son wanted to leave. Aww… Oh and speaking of good parents… Group of about 8 people, 5 kids with them, all under about 8 years old. They grabbed a bunch of maps, gave one to each of the kids, and one of the adults in the group points to the info desk sign… “See this? Bombardier. If we get separated, meet here.” And then she realized… most of these kids can’t understand a map, nor can they read yet. At least she was trying to be responsible. Good work.

The weather yesterday was gorgeous. Went on a picnic with ITP, SPJ, and Puffy’sFavoriteAsian. Wandered around Great Falls for a bit and did the nature thing. I was lazy and didn’t bring my camera, but I think PFA got some nice pictures of the crane that we followed down to the water*. Pretty bird… pretty bird…

After that, quantity family time. Went up to have dinner with Planned. He’s doing a training thing up in MD, so he might have time to come play whenever he’s not learning and stuff.

Also, this weekend I was compared to Amelia Bedelia, Dr. Peter Venkman, and a Mazda commercial. Woo. :) -J.

*Average 7 drownings per year.

QOTD (Stolen from someone’s away message): “Back in 2000 a Republican friend warned me that if I voted for Al Gore and he won, the stock market would tank, we’d lose millions of jobs, and our military would be totally overstretched. You know what? I did vote for Gore, he did win, and I’ll be damned if all those things didn’t come true!” - James Carville

EDIT: Oh! I forgot to write about one of our conversation topics Saturday night. Turns out TB was the only one in the room who had not tried some sort of pet food. Totally missing out. Mm… jerky…

Went and did the self defense thing Thursday night. Was very informative and learned some new moves. Friday, spent the day with ITP. Went by Panera, watched Secret Window, visited our friends at Chipotle… Tracked down TR and hung out with him for a while. Then headed over to HOY to hang out with people before they watched a scary, scary movie that made me run away.

Saturday… museum day. stuff. hoy. video games. tired.

Sunday… picnic. Great Falls… BWI to see my bro who is kinda in town for a couple weeks.

Man, this entry sucks. I apologize. G’nite all. :) -J.

In case y’all didn’t know, this week is National Poison Prevention Week.

1-800-222-1222. If you think you might be poisoned and you don’t know what to do… Call 1-800-222-1222… :) (<- click the smiley… make sure your sound is on) -J.

Went out for tacos last night after being forbidden to go to Chipotle with ITP again. Whatever. I can go there if I wanna. Met StevetheChipotleGuy. He is very enthusiastic about working, as well as eating, at Chipotle. He explained that their boss (Patrick) has very high standards and wants all their customers to enjoy their Chipotle experience, which is why the Fair Lakes Chipotle is so much better than the other ones. SCG has also tested the surrounding Chipotles and agreed that this one is by far the best in the area, and that the new one in Kamp Washington is substandard… for now. Hopefully, they’ll improve over time. It seems that ITP and I may make a memorable couple or something. Or maybe it was the fact that we went through the line 3 times last Friday… Who knows. But they’re starting to recognize us at Chipotle. Woo. :) -J.

DAVE: I stayed up all night. I read the entire bible cover to cover. I don’t know what it means.

MRS. KIM: David.

DAVE: You have to tell me what it means. Is it yes, is it no? I can’t feel my right elbow anymore. I don’t even know why, but I can’t.

MRS. KIM: David.

DAVE: Please, just tell me. I’m so tired.

MRS. KIM: It’s not from the bible.

DAVE: What?

MRS. KIM: It’s Shakespeare, Henry VI. I like to goof off now and then, too, you know.

DAVE: Shakespeare.

MRS. KIM: That is a very difficult this to do, reading the bible in one night. I myself have only done it three times. You need great determination and excellent light. I’m very impressed. All right.

DAVE: All right what?

MRS. KIM: You can go to the prom, but you cannot get married.

Long story short, got pulled over. It was scary. I’m a ditz. Everything is good, but I’ll probably need to go to court to hopefully get the ticket thrown out. Not a moving violation, so no points off or anything. No, no… Fear not. I was not speeding. I got pulled over while driving 5 under. Very confusing. Oh well. I think it’s just to make up for the fact that everything else in my life is going so swimmingly. Which didn’t detract from it too much. Just the way things go. Swapped cars with the ‘rents so they could take my poor car in for an estimate on the damage from last week. Whenever the doober gets in, I’ll be able to get a loaner car thinger while they fix stuff and then my car will be all shiny happy again, just like me. Anyway. I think I’ve lost a large chunk of my vocabulary at this late hour, so I’m going to go to sleep now. ‘Nite all. :) -J.

LOTD from ITP: Goof Off Today

Friday - Chipotle Friday as expected. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much at Chipotle before. Normally I just get my burrito and then I’m all set for the evening. But BFF got a little delayed, so ITP and I got an order of tacos while we waited. And then when we finished those, we got some more tacos while we waited. Tried the pork and chicken tacos. I think the pork ones were better, but they were both pretty good. In any case, after that, BFF had arrived and burritos were had by all. Headed over to Coldstone Creamery after that for tasty ice cream treats, but they were closed and we were sent away. That was a little sad. Went over to Barnes&Noble for tasty beverages and then off to happy hour. Got there just as people were heading out. Oops… I am a bad planner or something. But it all worked out because TB got her harem of boys. Close to a dozen. Way more than I’ve ever had. Anyway, left there, but and found out later that other people stayed longer. Ended up at HOY with jello shots, so that was almost the same… almost.

Saturday, went to IHOP with ITP and then loafed around for a bit while he went to help his family move furniture. After that, we went out for dinner at a sushi place and then dessert at Copelands. *Cheesecake* :) Again with the people and the bills and the places… She totally went out of her way to put the check far away from me on the other side of ITP. Hmph. Anyway, went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was really good. Kind of surprising to see Jim Carrey play the role of the normal character, while everyone else was extra weird, but it was a sweet date movie.

Sunday, meant to go up to Philly to watch things blow up, but didn’t wake up in time. I guess 3am turned out to be a little ambitious on my part. Instead, took a field trip with ITP to Krispy Kreme. Mmm… doughnuts… :) Spent the rest of the day loafing. Cut my finger somehow, but I’m not sure when. I’m assuming some time while I was cutting celery, but I didn’t feel it. Seems kinda weird to me… I didn’t even notice until I was eating and there was blood running down my hand. Whoops. Anyway, gossip time. I’m off. :) -J.

QOTD: “Birth control makes you fat and Comcast has crappy porn.” -ITP

There are 1000 people in a line facing forward so they can see only the people in front of them. An assassin is going to put hats on their heads. Some of the hats are red; some are blue. Starting with the person in the back of the line, he is going to have them say a color, either red or blue. If the person says the color of the hat on their head, they live. Otherwise he kills them. Either case he moves forward to the next person in line and repeats. The 1000 people are allowed to discuss beforehand what strategy they are going to use, but once they have decided on the strategy the assassin will know it as well before putting the hats on. [There is nothing sneaky or stupid (i.e. speaking louder or softer or singing the color, etc.)] What strategy should the people use?

10 points again for nerd-factor. Thanks to SPJ and IA for the puzzle. Email your solution along with resume if you’re interested in a job. :) -J.

LOTD: iLL WiLL PreSS– The dating advice one is especially good. I mean, like actually good advice good, not just funny.

I am so pleased with Sweetwater Tavern. Good food and good people. So, like… I guess not all of you might be aware of this, but I’m a girl. And as such, when I go to a restaurant with a boy, for all practical purposes, I don’t exist. I mean, I get to order and stuff if I want, but when they come back to check on the table, questions are almost always directed at the boy only. How’s the food? Do you need anything else? Yadda yadda… Then, when the check comes, handed to the boy or placed next to him. A couple weeks ago, I paid for a meal with my credit card and after swiping the card and bringing the receipt back to be signed, they placed the little tray doober next to the guy. Sup with that? I was extra disappointed with that occurrence because the server was a girl. I mean, I guess while I’m making these complaints, I shouldn’t be stereotyping and making sexist generalizations, but come on… she should know better. Granted if it’s a white boy with me at a chinese restaurant, it’s usually the other way around. Actually, maybe that’s true for most asian cuisine places. Anyway, regardless. Went to Sweetwater last night and food was very good, as usual. And when the people came around, they asked me how my food was and if I needed anything else. They came and asked if I wanted more water and if we wanted bread. I know, I know… this should not be unusual for me. They asked him too, but the people looked at both of us when asking questions. I was pleased. THEN, when they brought the bill… placed on the middle of the table, right between us. :) -J.