Enjablog

The Lone Star ICONOCLAST - Editorial, Opinion of the Publishers: Crawford, TX endorses Kerry

Pretty good article in the post today clarifying a number of exaggerations made on both sides: A Primer for Tonight’s First Debate (washingtonpost.com)

Voter Registration Form for anyone who has not registered yet. Apologies to anyone not in VA… It’s probably not that hard to find for your state. -j.

Space Ship One Lands!!

I wrote a while back about how I don’t have faith in this administration. Just as I don’t believe in a God because I have not seen sufficient evidence, I don’t blindly follow whatever the current administration and president tell me. As such, I don’t give them a “get out of jail free” card when they don’t justify their actions to the people. My sister, on the other hand, has a different opinion. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like my sister. And I also enjoy getting people angry so I can laugh. But it backfired this time. She got me angry. And I’m very angry right now. I disagree and I don’t understand how we can grow up in the same environment and hold such different views. Granted, I’m the outlier in our family. But still. I like my views. That’s why I keep them. But I’m willing to share, which probably pisses other people off. But whatever. That’s why I started a separate blog. If you don’t want to read, go click on the little x in the upper right hand corner and go do something else. -E.

(16:31:23) enjanerd: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A56472-2004Sep28.html
(16:31:30) enjanerd: man… why is tony blair so much better than bush?
(16:31:56) enjanerd: they were wrong. suck it up and admit it. don’t lie to everyone… it’s not like people don’t know better.
(16:32:36) enjanerd: "The evidence about Saddam having actual biological and chemical weapons, as opposed to the capability to develop them, has turned out to be wrong. I acknowledge that and accept it," said Blair,whose primary reason for backing the U.S.-led war was the threat posed by those weapons.
"And the problem is, I can apologize for the information that turned out to be wrong, but I can’t, sincerely at least, apologize for removing Saddam. The world is a better place with Saddam in prison not in power."
(16:33:16) enjanerd: i can respect that. he had the capability and that was cause enough for preemptive strike, no matter what we found… that’s not convincing
(16:53:33) YennyLouie: what would be?
(16:54:29) enjanerd: bush declared war because hussein was connected with al qaeda and he had weapons of mass destruction
(16:54:56) enjanerd: those facts are wrong, but the world is still a "safer" place without hussein in power yadda yadda
(16:55:06) enjanerd: suck it up and admit that he was wrong
(16:55:27) enjanerd: i’m still not going to like him, but at least then he’s not a liar
(16:56:37) enjanerd: blair held his hand through this whole ordeal, and bush still comes out looking like the idiot even though they both made the same mistake
(16:56:39) enjanerd: why is that?
(16:59:40) YennyLouie: is he though? or is that what hte media is making him out to be?
(16:59:59) enjanerd: did hussein have weapons of mass destruction?
(17:00:17) YennyLouie: we probably won’t really ever know
(17:00:31) YennyLouie: the evidence points to no, but we don’t know if that’s true or not
(17:00:38) enjanerd: is there sufficient evidence to believe that hussein has weapons of mass destruction?
(17:00:50) YennyLouie: in my mind…I still believe that there are WMD out there…yes
(17:01:03) enjanerd: out there … in Iraq?
(17:01:06) enjanerd: or out there?
(17:01:39) YennyLouie: I think it’s part of my chicken little mentalitly…but I still think that there could be some in Iraq and elsewhere…I think it’s everywhere
(17:02:00) enjanerd: and you think that is sufficient reason to start a war?
(17:02:12) YennyLouie: he had the t echnology, he’s been known to do the experiments…how can you say that it couldn’t be the possiblity of them out there?
(17:03:14) enjanerd: i wasn’t told that this war was started on the possibility that he had them out there or had the technology to have them out there
(17:03:36) enjanerd: i was told that he has them, we want them surrendered, he must face dire consequences
(17:03:57) enjanerd: do you also believe the connection with al qaeda?
(17:04:58) enjanerd: also, under that criteria, why are we now ignoring north korea?
(17:05:12) enjanerd: they actually have WMDs that they’re testing and we have evidence of them testing
(17:05:29) YennyLouie: so, what is your solution? to go attach n. korea also/
(17:06:20) enjanerd: no, i’m asking why it makes sense to attack iraq before having evidence but not to attack n korea after having evidence
(17:06:25) enjanerd: that was all around the same time
(17:07:15) YennyLouie: we’re in iraq…we made the decision to go…we deal with the situation there…I think that’s where I have a lot of problem with people…if I think Kerry or anybody out there for that matter has a better solution to solvign the problem we’re in then I would vote for them, but so far, there has been nothiing
(17:07:36) YennyLouie: so, maybe it was a mistake to go, maybe it wsn’t…I don’t ahve all the CIA/FBI/secret info
(17:07:54) enjanerd: in your opinion, was it a mistake to go?
(17:07:56) YennyLouie: I’m not that lucky…so the decisions that were made weren’t by himself it was done as a governement front
(17:08:00) enjanerd: in light of what other involved leaders are saying
(17:08:29) YennyLouie: I don’t think it was a mistake to go… I think we should ahve gone a long time ago…
(17:09:00) enjanerd: and you think now was an appropriate time to go
(17:09:16) YennyLouie: as in now or when we went?
(17:09:26) enjanerd: right after sending a minimal number of troops to afghanistan for the purpose of fighting terrorism
(17:09:28) enjanerd: when we went
(17:09:44) YennyLouie: it migth not have been the ideal time, but is there really an ideal time?
(17:09:58) enjanerd: better?
(17:11:19) YennyLouie: we will never get the support of the rest of the world…it’s a given fact…everybody likes to live in the, if kerry was president, the rest of the world will support us…if I thought that was true, and they would stand up and stamp out the problems, I would say vote for kerry, but I don’t think they will support us because they dont’ like to get involve in situations…that’s why as a country we’re in more debt than any others…we put ourselves out to help others why others say they want to but can’t
(17:12:54) YennyLouie: what is a better time?? when he attacks adn we’re defedning ourselves?
(17:13:01) YennyLouie: so we know for "sure" he has them?
(17:13:02) enjanerd: do you think that doing something that turns out to be a mistake and then trying to cover it up or make it sound nice makes for a good leader?
(17:13:29) enjanerd: depends… do you believe in "innocent until proven guilty"?
(17:14:21) enjanerd: if the premise was that hussein was a bad person and he should be removed from power, that’s one thing
(17:14:41) enjanerd: but to exaggerate his crimes without evidence makes the accuser the bad guy
(17:14:53) YennyLouie: but the question is do your really know everything
(17:15:45) enjanerd: i have to base my decisions/opinions on the evidence the government is allowing us to have
(17:16:14) enjanerd: if they want us to believe they are telling the truth, they should have something to show what they are basing their claims on
(17:16:39) YennyLouie: do you think you deserve to know everything…and that you do know everything?
(17:16:44) enjanerd: i’m not going to trust assumptions when what they have shown has not been trustworthy
(17:17:21) enjanerd: no, but there are different magnitudes of information
(17:17:33) enjanerd: nothing has supported their claims
(17:17:54) enjanerd: people who have the capability to create WsMD are terrorists?
(17:18:00) enjanerd: hey, look! we’re terrorists
(17:18:22) YennyLouie: we might be
(17:18:28) enjanerd: i think we are
(17:19:02) enjanerd: so why wouldn’t we deserve to be attacked then?
(17:19:12) YennyLouie: we have
(17:19:24) YennyLouie: I’m sorry did you forget 9-11?
(17:19:26) enjanerd: that’s what i’m saying
(17:19:58) enjanerd: so if we deserved it (even though that wasn’t the reason we were attacked, so far as i know), why are we attacking someone else in retaliation?
(17:20:47) YennyLouie: that’s how war works
(17:21:04) YennyLouie: soembody attacks you, you attack back and it goes until one side is all dead or surrenders
(17:21:16) YennyLouie: it’s not pretty and not nice, but that’s how it all works…
(17:21:44) enjanerd: you attack back to the people who attacked you
(17:21:48) enjanerd: not someone else
(17:22:07) enjanerd: we’re in agreement on how war works
(17:22:20) enjanerd: just not in agreement on who is attacking whom
(17:23:04) YennyLouie: I think we know who’s attacking who…just not in agreement for the reasons why the attacks are happening
(17:23:27) enjanerd: do you think the president/the current administration had sufficient evidence to know that the US was going to be attacked?
(17:24:08) YennyLouie: I don’t know that for sure
(17:24:30) YennyLouie: I’m not previledge to that information, but I have neough confidence in my government to make the correct judgement
(17:24:34) enjanerd: do you think there was a good reason why the president didn’t want the 9-11 commission to be created?
(17:25:09) YennyLouie: I’m sure he did…
(17:25:27) YennyLouie: I don’t agree with that, but I’m sure he did…
(17:25:42) enjanerd: do you think it was a benevolent reason?
(17:26:04) enjanerd: "for the safety" of the people
(17:27:27) YennyLouie: I would hope say so…is there information in the that everybdoy people needs to know is there that they don’t? yes…
(17:28:08) YennyLouie: did he do it as a "cover-up" I hope not
(17:28:23) enjanerd: yeah, i can hope not too
(17:28:26) enjanerd: but i believe otherwise
(17:29:28) YennyLouie: that’s the thing…why? b/c you don’t think he’s being truthful? how do you know what he did wasn’t based on what he knows and that’s different from what you know?
(17:31:12) enjanerd: why did the administration claim to not know there was going to be an attack when there was a classified document entitled, ‘Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States’
(17:32:06) enjanerd: why were there plans in the budget to reduce funding to national security when there were threats of terrorist acts and there have been terrorist acts within the united states in the past?
(17:32:53) enjanerd: people forget the first trade center bombing and oklahome city… but the security agencies shouldn’t
(17:33:05) enjanerd: the administration in charge of defending this country shouldn’t
(17:33:31) YennyLouie: we makes the budgets…it’s not a one person deal
(17:33:39) enjanerd: no, the administration
(17:33:59) YennyLouie: they have a say in it, but there are the checks and balances set up i nthe government
(17:33:59) enjanerd: the people currently in power… in the white house, in congress, in the senate
(17:34:03) YennyLouie: yes
(17:34:10) YennyLouie: which are all our representatives
(17:34:20) YennyLouie: we tell our representatives what is important to us
(17:34:41) YennyLouie: before all this happen, how many people went to vote for their representative??? how many vote for the president?
(17:34:43) enjanerd: yes, and the congresspeople didn’t see the document until the 9-11 commission
(17:35:17) enjanerd: if the executive branch says, "we need more money for national security" i think people would listen
(17:35:20) enjanerd: they listen now, don’t they?
(17:35:51) YennyLouie: why? b/c we were attacked
(17:36:32) YennyLouie: in the last few years before the attacks our military lost more and more funding…bases were being shut down and closed b/c people ("citizens") didn’t see the need for them
(17:37:08) enjanerd: and yet the defense industry still had plenty of funding
(17:37:14) enjanerd: seemingly more than we have now
(17:37:29) YennyLouie: why? because there was a feeling of security and safety…we all know that wasn’t true and we bought ourselves into the lie…
(17:37:37) enjanerd: people looking for jobs coming out of my department down at tech had no problems finding jobs before
(17:37:44) enjanerd: but now… when defense is booming, no jobs
(17:37:46) enjanerd: why is that?
(17:37:59) YennyLouie: I don’t know…why is that?
(17:38:15) enjanerd: maybe anecdotal evidence isn’t representative, but it sure seems like it
(17:41:15) YennyLouie: sorry…there’s work to be done…so, we don’t know where the defense money is going to? not your sector, maybe somewhere else…there are still a lot of fields out there and there is the military left to build up and supply
(17:41:58) enjanerd: aerospace, ocean, and mechanical engineering
(17:42:03) enjanerd: that seems like a big part of defense
(17:42:30) YennyLouie: how long does it take you to design and build a ship?
(17:42:53) enjanerd: 10 years
(17:43:11) YennyLouie: does that look like something that we can do over night? we’re in the middle of the war, so the ships should have been built
(17:43:12) enjanerd: why?
(17:43:41) YennyLouie: the resources will now have to be shifted to immediate respnse needs, right?
(17:43:43) enjanerd: two more just got finished
(17:43:58) enjanerd: that were being built from the last administration
(17:44:33) YennyLouie: budgets are a funny thing…it’s a long term determination…what happens now isn’t a result of what the current president is doing…it’s a results of the previoius one
(17:44:40) YennyLouie: unless you’re FDR and you’re there forever
(17:44:51) enjanerd: ooh fdr was a good president
(17:44:54) YennyLouie: and then you can reap the benifits of your deicsions
(17:44:59) enjanerd: everybody like him
(17:45:04) enjanerd: liked
(17:45:11) YennyLouie: yes…he’s dead now
(17:45:20) enjanerd: yeah, i know
(17:45:22) enjanerd: he has a thing in dc
(17:45:33) YennyLouie: yeah, I do want to see that and the WWII memorial
(17:45:38) YennyLouie: maybe when it stops raining
(17:45:51) YennyLouie: traffic is so bad out there…
(17:45:56) YennyLouie: honkinga nd sirens everywhere
(17:45:59) enjanerd: i saw part of the fdr thing when i went to see the cherry blossoms
(17:46:00) enjanerd: it’s nice
(17:46:03) enjanerd: lots of quotes and fountains
(17:46:05) enjanerd: pretty

I really like Tony Blair.

Blair Acknowledges WMD Intelligence Errors (washingtonpost.com):

“The evidence about Saddam having actual biological and chemical weapons, as opposed to the capability to develop them, has turned out to be wrong. I acknowledge that and accept it,” said Blair,whose primary reason for backing the U.S.-led war was the threat posed by those weapons.
“And the problem is, I can apologize for the information that turned out to be wrong, but I can’t, sincerely at least, apologize for removing Saddam. The world is a better place with Saddam in prison not in power.”

The whole “he had the capability and that was cause enough for preemptive strike, no matter what we found…” argument is a crock and Bush needs to suck it up and tell Americans the truth. It’s not like he went in with this intent. He made a mistake; the intelligence was wrong. Stop trying to cover it up. We’re not stupid.

Ok, so even though polls are supposed to be relatively reliable, I still have doubts and justifications to keep my hopes up:

1. Democratic-> Republican switch compared to last election probably low. In light of these “security moms,” though, I’m starting to have doubts.
2. Criteria for polls.
a. “Probable voter” - voted before, active with a campaign, how is this determined?
b. Polling pool - phone polls will leave out cell phones. A large percentage of 20-30 year-olds use cell phones exclusively, leaving out a population of registered voters.
3. Debates. Sure, you still have to win the spin game after, but hopefully people in this country will care enough to watch.
4. Wars. You never know what’s going to happen and who’s going to benefit from it.

Things to be pessimistic about:
1. Osama bin Laden. Still a month for them to “find” him and then Bush wins the election. :(

From the Washington Post, a breakdown registered voters’ preferences by education level:

I find it interesting that college graduates are the only group that favors the democrats. There’s the possibility that the people who are college graduates make up the middle class and those are the people who have a higher expectation of the job market and are therefore disgruntled with the state of the economy these days. But it also seems like those who haven’t finished high school or college would have more trouble getting jobs or might have the lower wage jobs and they should be against the current president.

I was also listening to a story the other day about the different demographics that the campaigns are aiming at recently and one of the latest: security moms. They’re the soccer moms of yesteryear, but with an emphasis on security and not education, health care, or social reform. Don’t they understand? We have sent so many troops overseas to “fight terrorism” and to police the world that there’s no one left at home to protect us when we get attacked. And yes, I do mean when. Terrorist or not, foreign or domestic, you can’t stop it. This is a country open to attack. I hope that it doesn’t happen, but looking at history, it has happened and it is likely to happen again. Maybe not soon, but eventually. We have terrorists, bombers, snipers, serial murderers. Call them what you want.

Try enforcing laws. Innocent until proven guilty? Where does that apply when doing pre-emptive strikes? Cherish your rights, but take away others’. “Fix” a nation by tearing it down and whittling away at their standard of living. I’m not saying that the military is at fault here. I think this administration has not come up with an effective plan for rebuilding this nation. I think this administration has done a really good job of tearing down our own nation and dividing us against ourselves. This is no longer a civil war between the north and the south. But, like the Civil War, this is a fight that will tear apart families. Pit brother against brother, parents against children. This is a war between parties. Conservatives, liberals, feminists, economists, pacifists, gays, lower income families… Pick your side and hope you choose wisely. Because, unlike some other people might believe (paraphrased: “A vote for the wrong candidate is a vote for terrorism.”), voting for one candidate doesn’t mean more terrorists. Voting for the wrong candidate means troops sent overseas for personal gain, a plummeting economy, and an insurmountable national deficit. These aren’t just “other people” who have to pay for our decisions. They are our siblings, friends, children, parents, teachers, medical workers, police officers, firefighters… soldiers.

Ok, so the kiddies next door are pretty friendly. They usually say hi to me if they see me coming home or leaving for work or whatever. So, last week some time, I was walking out to my car and one of the girls says hello. So I say hi back. She tells me she has a baby in her backpack. Then, she asks if I’m walking today. I tell her just to my car. I parked down the street, so that’s where I was headed. So she asks if I’m going to cross the street? Yes, but it’s not far. “Ok. Be careful.” Safety first. Even the kiddies next door know that. The ones playing with matches and lighting fireworks unsupervised. But they know to look both ways before crossing the street.

Things I learned growing up:

Look both ways before crossing the street.
Hold hands when crossing the street.
Don’t talk to strangers; they might try to kidnap you and then sell you for parts.
Don’t play in the street; you might get hit by a car.
Waft, don’t sniff/inhale.
Let someone know where you are going and when you are planning to return. If no one is around, leave a note.
Don’t sit too close to the television. You’ll go blind.
Watching too much tv will make your brain turn to mush.
Don’t play with beebee guns. You’ll put an eye out.
Don’t play with sharp objects. You might hurt yourself.
Driving is a full time job. Watch the road. Hands at 3 and 9 (no longer 10 and 2, due to air bags).
Do not speed in residential areas. Kids these days… they play in the streets and you’re the one who’ll get in trouble if you hit one of them. Kids aren’t accountable for anything these days.
If you get something new, you should share it with your friends.

That’s all I can think of for now. :) -j.

Spent the day in Baltimore yesterday with ITP, Ted, and NN. Went to The Maryland Historical Society Museum, Edgar Allen Poe’s grave, Hollywood Diner, Maryland Science Center to watch a couple IMAX films (Sacred Planet, Hubble & Jane Goodall), then off to the Aquarium to see the new dolphin show! Woo! Brief stop at Barnes & Noble before heading back. Spending today reading then helping Jackee move. That’s about it. :) -J.

I did it! I found the doober to download the stuff that I needed and then there were all these magical new extensions to sync my address book and mail. Woo! Thanks to google, the internet, mozilla, and readers like you. I can play with my visor again. So exciting. Now I can download new mp3s instead of listening to the same ones I’ve been listening to for the last 2 years. So exciting. So much for going to bed early though. Oh well. Well worth it. :) -J.

For those not in the know:

New Firefox out. Been using it for a few days. There are a couple immediately noticeable changes, but maybe I don’t do enough to notice the tweaks they’ve made. Still liking it though.

I also installed the new Thunderbird. I had been holding out because I wanted to transfer all the stuff from my old computer over and get my visor all synched and everything. And, well, as it turns out, I’m lazy. So, forget all the good intentions. I just went ahead and installed because I had heard so many good things about it. So fancy cool and stuff. Emails sorted by threads, built in spam filter in addition to rules-y stuff, mouse gestures… I’m very pleased thus far.

Gilmore Girls season 5 premiere last night. Very disappointed in Rory. Still. Will she never learn? I understand she made a mistake. But come on. Get a clue. Repeating a mistake means that you haven’t learned and not learning is for stupid people. But in happier news, Luke and Lorelei! :) :)

I think that’s all. Going to try to get to sleep early tonight. Tomorrow is the new Friday. Or something. :) -J.

LOTD: Football Fans for Truth - The sad part about this is that it isn’t a joke. I thought these guys were making fun of the Republicans picking on Kerry. But they’re serious. These are gung-ho sports fans supporting Bush. A … um… unique way of expressing their opinion. We’ll just leave it at that.

QOTD: “It’s cute when you try to use big people things… like doors.”

I fault this president for not knowing what death is. He does not suffer the death of our twenty-one year olds who wanted to be what they could be. On the eve of D-day in 1944 General Eisenhower prayed to God for the lives of the young soldiers he knew were going to die. He knew what death was. Even in a justifiable war, a war not of choice but of necessity, a war of survival, the cost was almost more than Eisenhower could bear.

But this president does not know what death is. He hasn’t the mind for it. You see him joking with the press, peering under the table for the WMDs he can’t seem to find, you see him at rallies strutting up to the stage in shirt sleeves to the roar of the carefully screened crowd, smiling and waving, triumphal, a he-man. He does not mourn. He doesn’t understand why he should mourn. He is satisfied during the course of a speech written for him to look solemn for a moment and speak of the brave young Americans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. But you study him, you look into his eyes and know he dissembles an emotion which he does not feel in the depths of his being because he has no capacity for it. He does not feel a personal
responsibility for the thousand dead young men and women who wanted be what they could be. They come to his desk not as youngsters with mothers and fathers or wives and children who will suffer to the end of their days a terribly torn fabric of familial relationships and the inconsolable remembrance of aborted life…. they come to his desk as a political liability which is why the press is not permitted to photograph the arrival of their coffins from Iraq. How then can he mourn? To mourn is to express regret and he regrets nothing. He does not regret that his reason for going to war was, as he knew, unsubstantiated by the facts. He does not regret that his bungled plan for the war’s aftermath has made of his mission-accomplished a disaster. He does not regret that rather than controlling terrorism his war in Iraq has licensed it. So he never mourns for the dead and crippled youngsters who have
fought this war of his choice. He wanted to go to war and he did. He had not the mind to perceive the costs of war, or to listen to those who knew those costs. He did not understand that you do not go to war when it is one of the options but when it is the only option; you go not because you want to but because you have to.

Yet this president knew it would be difficult for Americans not to cheer the overthrow of a foreign dictator. He knew that much. This president and his supporters would seem to have a mind for only one thing — to take power, to remain in power, and to use that power for the sake of themselves and their friends. A war will do that as well as anything. You become a wartime leader. The country gets behind you. Dissent becomes inappropriate. And so he does not drop to his knees, he is not contrite, he does not sit in the church with the grieving parents and wives and children. He is the President who does not feel. He does not feel for the families of the dead, he does not feel for the thirty five million of us who live in poverty, he does not feel for the forty percent who cannot afford health insurance, he does not feel for the miners whose lungs are turning black or for the working people he has deprived of the chance to work overtime at time-and-a-half to pay their bills — it is amazing for how many people in this country this President does not feel. But he will dissemble feeling. He will say in all sincerity he is relieving the wealthiest one percent of the population of their tax burden for the sake of the rest of us, and that he is polluting the air we breathe for the sake of our economy, and that he is decreasing the safety regulations for coal mines to save the coal miners’ jobs, and that he is depriving workers of their time-and-a- half benefits for overtime because this is actually a way to honor them by raising them into the professional class. And this litany of lies he will versify with reverences for God and the flag and democracy, when just what he and his party are doing to our democracy is choking the life out of it.

But there is one more terribly sad thing about all of this. I remember the millions of people here and around the world who marched against the war. It was extraordinary, that spontaneous aroused oversoul of alarm and protest that transcended national borders. Why did it happen? After all, this was not the only war anyone had ever seen coming. There are little wars all over he world most of the time. But the cry of protest was the appalled understanding of millions of people that America was ceding its role as the last best hope of mankind. It was their perception that the classic archetype of democracy was morphing into a rogue nation. The greatest democratic republic in history was turning its back on the future, using its extraordinary power and standing not to advance the ideal of a concordance of civilizations but to endorse the kind of tribal combat that originated with the Neanderthals, a people, now extinct, who could imagine ensuring their survival by no other means than pre-emptive war.

The president we get is the country we get. With each president the nation is conformed spiritually. He is the artificer of our malleable national soul. He proposes not only the laws but the kinds of lawlessness that govern our lives and invoke our responses. The people he appoints are cast in his image. The trouble they get into and get us into, is his characteristic trouble. Finally the media amplify his character into our moral weather report. He becomes the face of our sky, the conditions that prevail: How can we sustain ourselves as the United States of America given the stupid and ineffective warmaking, the constitutionally insensitive lawgiving, and the monarchal economics of this president? He cannot mourn but is a figure of such moral vacancy as to make us mourn for ourselves.

E.L. Doctorow

10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.
9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.
8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.
7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.
6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.
5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.
4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.
3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.
2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it “nuclear” instead of “nucular.”
1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.

Just because Sonny brought up Cauchy in his update today:

Why did the mathematician name his dog Cauchy?
Because he left a residue at every pole.