Enjablog

Happy birthday, Squidgey!!

Eepie returns in *two* weeks!

A few work-related stories today.

I was in the elevator with a pile of CAD drawings going through the QA process. There were a few questions I needed answered, so I was flipping through the pages to double check everything before bothering people. A guy in the elevator looks at me, looks at my stack of ship arrangements, looks at me again and asks, “Are you an architect or an interior designer?”

Right, because those are the only two options? I’ll grant him that maybe he’s not familiar with CAD and didn’t realize that the structure I was looking at was decidedly shaped like a ship. But it’s definitely odd-looking for a house or an office building, what with it being pointy on one end. In any case, my jaw dropped and I gave him a stupid look before answering that I am a naval architect and walked out of the elevator.

To preface the next story, I’ll explain that ship hulls are typically symmetrical along their length. Pretty obvious, right? Anyway, the first 3-D model of a design is usually only half a ship to save time/work. People who studied naval architecture in school should be aware of that by the end of their first intro class.

New guy walks into the interns’ office and complains, “[He] left me with this model, but only gave me half the ship. What am I supposed to do with it?”

And the intern replies, “Which half? The front or the back?”

And just because I was so annoyed with people last week:

Ways to Annoy me at Work

1. Touching my monitor and leaving fingerprints.

2. Asking for help and then coming back 5 minutes later to get me to do the work for you. I used to try that one on my mom. She didn’t fall for it either.

3. Asking a question and not listening to the answer, just to re-ask the same question as soon as I’m done talking.
“How do I find this weight?”
“Open the file here, then go to this sheet, and add these values together.”
“Right, but how do I get *this* number?”
Add! I *just* did it for you.

4. Not listening to an explanation and then asking how to do what was just explained.
“Use this command to output the graphs.”
*Open output file and look at graphs.*
‘How did you get those graphs!?”

5. Taking notes on what I explain and returning 5 minutes later to ask me to decipher your chicken scratch. Not to ask me to re-explain what you need to know. No, to decipher what you wrote down.

6. Walking out of a meeting and immediately turning to me to ask, “So what did all that mean?” That you should pay more attention.

7. Walking into my office while I’m in the middle of a discussion with someone else, and interrupting to ask, “So what does all this mean?” It’s not like we’re having a philosophical discussion here. We’re already saying what we mean.

8. Looking at a list of step-by-step instructions, then asking me what to do after finishing step 4. “Step 5.” WTF? (Of course this happened after the meeting explaining the step-by-step instructions. See #6.)

9. Drinking so much caffeine that you can’t stand still during a meeting and then elbowing me in the process of *falling over.*

10. Staring at my chest when you talk to me. Seriously, did you learn nothing from high school? At least make an attempt to be discreet.

Man, I’ve been at this conference for the past two days and now I’m all behind on the internets.

So many things going on. I got to attend the ASNE annual meeting and go to about 6 technical sessions. Saw a former professor and some students I know and was introduced to a few more from yet another class of VT OE students. Had one of the people I know introduce me to someone looking for a job, so I might get another referral. Woo! Saw a manager from my old job. He has “retired” now (moved on to another company). And saw the VP from the group I was in as well. Then there were dozens of SNAME people there: some who knew me by name, others who recognized seeing me somewhere before.

There was the closing banquet last night. I was told last week that I was to attend this. My company reserved two tables, so in addition to all the important people going over for this, a number of engineers were invited as well. I can’t complain about getting to go, though I wish they hadn’t decided it was a good idea to schedule it to run until 10 pm. I can only describe this as the Oscars of Naval Engineering. They presented some of the biggest awards at this dinner. The recipients invited their spouses/families/friends. The speeches consisted of thanking their spouses, family, colleagues, mentors, etc.

Ok, time for more learning today.

I won Tetris!

I think it took more effort to get that picture of my screen without glare from the flash than it did to reach that score. But, woo! 99,999,999. *phew* Now I can finally play a different game. :)

*Disclaimer* This is probably offensive to some people. So, uh… Don’t take offense. *Disclaimer*

What do you call a mentally disabled prostitute? Hotard.

Ok, so it’s a bus line that I’ve seen outside my office two days in a row now. Why would you name a company that? Is that a person’s name? Did they make it up? Just sounds weird to me.

Here’s a joke I heard last week. Maybe it’ll make up for the Hotard thing…

How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Hey Virginians,

Don’t forget to go vote today. You have until 7. So, if you’re behind, go look up your candidate list.

And, since it’s a primary, you’ll get an incredibly friendly greeting from all the people at the polling place.

“Ooh, here come some voters.”
“Voters?”

“Three voters in 15 minutes. Must be getting busy in there.”

Also, stickers!!

Went with Ian and his parents to see An Inconvenient Truth yesterday. Very well done. I would highly recommend it to people who enjoy living on this planet. If you don’t care or have some other kind of exit strategy planned, then good luck with that. But for everyone else, make the time to go see this.

The information contained in this message is privileged and confidential, intended only for the use of those who are in a confidential relationship with the author. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying, or printing of this communication is strictly prohibited! If you have received this message in error, please notify us immediately by telephone [blah blah blah] or by email [blah blah blah].

You know, if you’re going to attach that as your sig file, maybe you shouldn’t go around forwarding spam.

Just because you call it “confidential” does not make it actually confidential. If it actually were confidential, you should not be emailing that at all. It would be against the law and you would be strictly prohibited! Ok, sorry. That sentence got away from me. The stupid exclamation mark in the middle of the sig just pisses me off.

This gets added to the end of emails that request people to forward the email to 10 people they know in the next 15 minutes!!11!!!one!! It gets added to the end of emails begging us to distribute information to help find non-existent children lost in the internet 10 years ago. It gets added to emails sending out announcements about your exciting family with wonderful news about which you want *everyone* to know.

Admittedly, I am required to put a similar paragraph at the end of my sig file for work. BUT the difference is that they talk about business sensitive/proprietary information and do not use the word “confidential” like it’s going out of style. And, in the case of anything that could be claimed as intellectual property, it could actually be necessary to have something like that tacked onto the email. I’m not saying that that’s binding in any way, because I’m doubtful that it is. It’s just actually applicable.

The other huge difference? I don’t use my work email address to send out crap! I also don’t use my personal email to send out crap, but that’s clearly beside the point.

I am appalled that there are still people out there who do not understand how to not be dumb. I’m not surprised, just appalled.

Don’t forward me crap.

Don’t leave a dozen generations of people’s forwarded information leading into this *very important* document.

Don’t leave “>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>” in front of every line because the 50 people before you didn’t understand how to forward an email either.

And for the people sending this crap out anyway? You don’t need the stupid sig file. No one cares, no one reads it, and it means nothing. You hear me? NOTHING.

Don’t be dumb.

I’ve been noticing something recently. It’s a little disturbing to me, but I can only assume it happens every year.

Last night on the way back from parking my car, there was a dead bird on the side of the road. Mostly indistinguishable as a bird, but it was definitely a small, feathery animal that had gotten trampled.

On my walk from Ian’s parking garage to my office, there’s a dead bird on the sidewalk. Not just any dead bird, but a decapitated dead bird (Right, right… as opposed to all the decapitated live birds I see walking around). I saw it for a few days slowly getting eaten by bugs, but have since started crossing the street later to avoid seeing it. I know that doesn’t make the bird not still there decaying, but now I don’t have to avoid stepping on it every morning.

There have been numerous occasions on our commute where we’ve had to slow down or even stop briefly for birds to get out of the road when we drove past. They seem to be less worried lately, hopping across to get out of the way instead of flying. Maybe that’s why I’m seeing more dead birds this year? In any case, look out for dead birds.

Him: talking to a friend in front of an apartment building
Her: passing by on the sidewalk
Him: “Evening.”
Her: politely nods acknowledgement
Him: thinks to himself, “She didn’t ignore me! This is my chance!”
Her: continues walking
Him: “Hey baby, you have a boyfriend?”

There’s this commercial I’ve been seeing lately for Dial body wash for men. They market it as looking like it comes in an oil can. That makes it manly, so men will use it.

The last time I bought shampoo, I bought a bottle for Ian that was specifically “for men.” It came in a nondescript gray and blue bottle and had a soapy smell to it, nothing fruity or herbal. That made it, of course, very manly.

Last weekend, while we were at Target, we looked at some soap/body washes and they now have a whole section of men’s body washes. Seems like every company wants in on this men smelling clean phenomenon. Unfortunately, out of the dozen or so scents by Old Spice, Dial, Suave, and Axe, there were only 2 scents that didn’t repulse me. One smelled like lime gatorade and the other smelled like… soap.

The scents had names like “Mountain Rush,” “Full Force,” “Phoenix,” and “Tsunami.” Yes, we get it. You’re manly. And these scents coming out of manly oil can bottles are all very manly-smelling too. The problem? Men don’t naturally smell very pretty. They smell musky, like they haven’t showered in a few days. Why? Probably because they haven’t. But why do you want to buy soap that makes you smell moreso, when you’ve gone to the trouble of *actually* showering?

I can’t fully convey to you these odors that technology has allowed companies to bottle in gelatinous form, but imagine a fresh spring breeze mixed with VapoRub mixed with an Indian restaurant. Mm… Mountain Rush!

I don’t know what’s going on. It’s not like I’m too busy to blog. And I’ve been doing stuff, so I have things to blog about. I just haven’t. I have a running list of things I’ve been doing though, so maybe I’ll get inspiration one of these days. Until then, I leave you with this, the new TJ Alma Mater:

May the circle of infinity be unbroken
On the journey we’ve begun.
May our bonds of friendship be unspoken
Oh, Thomas Jefferson.

Together we stand as many
And lift our voice as one.
And for all our days we will sing the praise
Of Thomas Jefferson.

To life, to love, to the future,
To discoveries yet to come.
Colonials are united
In Thomas Jefferson.

Together we stand as many
And raise our voice as one.
And for all our days we will sing the praise
Of Thomas Jefferson.

May the circle of infinity be unbroken
On the journey we’ve begun.
May our bonds of friendship be unspoken
Oh, Thomas Jefferson!

Together we stand as many
And lift our voice as one.
And for all our days we will sing the praise
Of Thomas Jefferson.

So, a few things to note.
1. It never mentions anything about a school. Just sounds like someone with a huge crush on one of our founding fathers.
2. It never mentions science or technology.
3. It may seem as though the verses are repetitive, but please notice that the fourth verse raises our voice, while the second and sixth merely lift our voice. And verse 5 is different from the first by ending with an exclamation mark!
4. If we were to assume it was about a school, it could be for any school pretentious enough to have an alma mater. All they care about is friendship and standing as one. Could they try being more generic?

Anyway, I’m sticking with the fight song.

*BREAKING NEWS*

Oh good lord. I just went to do a search to find the lyrics for our fight song and found a site that allows you to download high school fight songs to your cellphone to use as ringtones. So, for anyone interested, go over and take a listen: TJHSST fight song ringtone.

Ok, gotta get going. Until next time…

Come on and give a cheer for TJ High School,
Best school in the land!
Come on and watch us win a victory
And give us all a hand!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
Show your spirit!
Stand up and cheer!
We all know that victory is here, so
Fight! (fight!) Fight! (fight!)
For science and tech
And the glory of TJ High!