Enjablog

This semester is kicking my butt. I spent a good portion of yesterday figuring out how to resign from the semester and drop my one class. It’s really that bad. But I emailed the profs to find out if it was just me or if there might be a curve that I should be accounting for and whether my last exam was at the point where it would be impossible to undo the damage now. It’s possible, but improbable that I could pass on my own merit. With a curve, it’s “practically feasible.”

So. I’ve decided. I’m not going down without a fight. (That’s what she said.) I’ve decided I need to quit the internet. Cold turkey. This is it. I need to eat, breathe, and sleep aero/hydro for the next 2 weeks. It will consume my life and then I will be free. Pass or fail, I will at least have tried… which I haven’t been doing enough of this semester. And if my best isn’t good enough, I will manage. Either way, I would be taking this again next fall, so I may as well make the attempt to understand it now. It can’t hurt, right? I mean, it can hurt. But it won’t work against me in the future.

I have so many excuses for why I’m failing this course. But what it boils down to is that I was unmotivated to work on this because it was difficult. It was more challenging than I was prepared for and I made a decision, conscious or otherwise, to not put in the effort so I would have an excuse when I failed. I allowed myself to procrastinate, goof off, and just not try. I’ve been doing this a lot lately. It ends now.

I have a couple entries left to auto-post over the next couple days. And then I’ll be back on the 11th. Maybe.

The Future:
I was planning to take next semester off and focus completely on the PE exam. Earlier this week, I went to go check drop/add to drop the class for which I pre-registered. Fortunately, the course that I signed up for, Advanced Naval Architecture, was canceled. Unfortunately, the course that I originally wanted to sign up for, Advanced Ship Dynamics, got added. This wasn’t offered last spring, so I think it’s on a 2-year cycle. Like the Submarine Design class I took this summer.

I need a plan. Should I just expect to be working on this until 2011? Should I lower my expectations even more and accept that I’m really just taking these classes for “fun” and not worry about a schedule? I’m tired.

I think that just decided it for me. I missed out on a lot my last year of my undergrad because I was so burnt out. In light of this semester, I think I need to wait until I miss school again and then sign up for classes. Maybe 1 or 2 classes a year. At least one semester off a year, probably summer since there usually aren’t that many courses offered.

Six classes left… So, let’s say I’ll finish by 2015. Whoa. Um. I’ll be 34. Let’s say a goal of 2012. 31 doesn’t feel nearly as far away. And it’ll definitely be something exciting for my 30s. I’m all negative about old people, but I’m so looking forward to my 30s. Much past that, I’m not so sure, but I have such high expectations for the awesomeness of being 30.